Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Can't live with them. Can't live without them.

True love!!!

In light of the recent spotlight on famous couples (I am referring to both William and Kate and Arnold and Maria) I feel that it is important to establish some ground rules for men in relationships.

1.       Do not cheat, if you do, you will get caught. And yes, if forced to choose between believing you or the woman who comes forward with a CHILD in her arms, claiming it is yours, your girlfriend/ fiancĂ©/ wife is GOING to believe the woman.  Not you. (Ehem John Edwards.)
2.       When planning a wedding, understand that the woman is always right. (That goes for almost everything in life boys.) Think of it this way…would William have been able to pick out a gown as stunning as the one Kate did? No. And he is a prince.  Secondly, the color theme of your wedding is not going to be the colors of your favorite football team. Not happening. Sorry Canes fans. Orange and green bouquets…not so much.
3.       Do not tell your female friend that they should exercise, even if it truly is because you want them to be healthy and not because you think they are fat.  Fine line. Walking a fine line there.
4.       Do not whine because it takes your girlfriend and hour and a half to get ready to go out of the house. (Especially when your nose is glued to a football game anyway.)   It is a miracle we go out of the house at all with the amount of primping we are expected to do.  If men had to put makeup on and blow-dry their hair, they would never even get the motivation to get off of the couch to begin the process.  Anyway, I never hear any complaints with the end product of all our work.
5.       We are not required by law to shave our legs, believe it or not.  Smooth legs are a gift that we give you because we are nice.  So next time you are asked to shave because a. you look like a caveman or b. you are giving whisker burn to your girlfriend, do not complain that it is too tiring and hard. Just shave or else we won’t.

Opinions? Any good rules that I miss?

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